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We'll let a reader handle the introductory duties for the "guesses" part of the Blind Item Guessing Game: "I can honestly say that this blind vice lost me somewhere after the word, 'Let's' ... but with the help of a handy dandy 'illiterate gossip hound to English' dictionary, I was able to deduce he's talking about old people who are married...But what confuses me is the fact that old people aren't having sex is gossip worthy. Isn't Britney walking barefoot into a porta potty in Riverside?" Yes, she probably is, and you're ignoring the fact that the raison (annoying French inflection ours) for many blind items is the gay sex angle. Mind the gossip stepchildren before you unfairly criticize Ted!

Ted sez: " Let's be hopeful. Let's be respectful. Let's be friggin' grateful these farts even care about sex after all these movie premieres! On that age-spotted note, let's back up. Sophie Soulful is committed to Butch Beyond. Ol' Sophe, always a looker, was never really recognized for her beauteous offerings because she always damn near paled in comparison to her hunky he-man, drool-dropping material fer days." Read the full item.

You say: Your answers after the jump.

You say: By a startling margin, "Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward." Those piling on the Newman bandwagon almost inevitably cited the use of the name "Butch," which if it were meant as a clue, would have ham-handedly revealed the answer. And if we've learned anything in the time we've been untangling Tedspeak, it's that the guy has a couple of Boar's Heads at the ends of his wrists. Still, we think this is too facile an explanation. Would a man that goes through the trouble of shredding pages of his own copy, stepping into one of those game-show booths that blows around dollar bills, and then reassembling his sentences with the scraps he was able to retrieve out of the air be that obvious? We. Think. Not.

You also say: Did we somewhere ask that you name a random married couple in Hollywood and forget that we did so? In the interest of not listing the names of every actor and actress to ever sign a marriage license, all of whom you named, here are the ones who received at least two votes: Will Smith/Jada Pinkett-Smith; John Travolta/Kelly Preston; Sting/Trudy Styler; Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston; Talisa Soto/Benjamin Bratt; Antontio Banderas/Melanie Griffith; Arnold Schwarzenegger/Maria Shriver; Tim Robbins/Susan Sarandon.

We don't mean to discourage your creativity, but please, do your best to pick up on the fragments of Ted's clues offered in English. Thanks for playing, we love you to death!