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How do you know when an entertainment publicist is lying? Her lips are moving, her vocal chords are converting her thoughts into sound waves, and your ears are translating that sound into what you recognize as language. Today's Lloyd Grove column in the NY Daily News gives us opportunity to break down the words of the flacktastic Leslie Sloane Zelnik, Britney Spears' rep, concerning a rumor that Spears plans to rent the $10,000 per night Palms Casino "Real World" suite to throw fiance/out-of-work background dancer Kevin Federline a bachelor party.

On the plan to rent the suite for the party:
 LSK says: "Britney is friends with the owner of the hotel, so you do the math. I'm not involved in the planning."
Translation: "I'm going to do the best I can to provide you the information you seek without actually confirming that such an event is taking place. Also, I am probably quietly arranging the whole thing myself, including reviewing Polaroids of sufficiently white-trashy strippers."
Analysis: Carefully avoiding a lie of omission by issuing a standard, boring "No comment," or a lie of commission by offering an outright denial.

On LSK's immediate reversal of her non-confirmation:
 Grove says of LSK: "But an hour later, Zelnik scoffed at the idea of a Vegas bachelor party for Federline and his guests."
Translation: "Not only is this party happening, but it's going to be fucking huge. The whole world we be there. We're even flying in a goat for a ritualistic sacrifice to be officiated by Elton John."
Analysis: The party is going to be fucking huge, and we're going to church to light a candle and pray we're invited.