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We at Defamer think that it's important for you to be made comfortable with the romantic company being kept by the Olsen Twins, as we all feel a certain stewardship of their lives after watching them grow up before our very eyes. Today's Page Six introduced us to new Ashley (the "Fat Twin," please stay with us) snuggle buddy Scott Sartiano, and a reader alerted us to some more background info on Ash's older man. Columbia University's alumni magazine heartily endorses Ashley's choice in fleeting partnership, raving "As co-owner of Butter, the acclaimed restaurant-with-a-DJ in the East Village, Sartiano spends nights cavorting with the likes of über-models Carmen Kass and Iman, Teen Beat demi-god Carson Daly and rapper Jay-Z. Not bad for a nice guy from North Carolina." Not bad indeed. If he's good enough for Columbia, well, this Southern gentleman is certainly good enough for us. Good luck, Scott! And don't be afraid of that overblown twin telepathy, either—when MK and Ash are communicating wordlessly, it's only to express what a dreamy hunk you are, not arguing over who forgot to bring the blow.