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Wherein we invite readers to unsheathe their machetes to hack away at humpy E! gossiper Ted Casablanca's impenetrable thicket of prose and guess the identity's of this week's blind items. We're getting started slightly earlier today because Ted has gifted TWO items to his fans this week—and one of them involves a seemingly straight actor and gay sex! Answer one, answer both—hell, eat a baby if that's your thing, as there are no rules in the dirt-dishing anarchy of a two blind item week. One Misleading Blind Vice (Hers & His):

Ted sez: "Ms. Leticia Legend, famous for laying into any thing, person, animal or fad that has ever gotten in her way, is having the laugh of her infamous career! Not too recently, L2 changed her ways. Folks said she was becoming less abrasive, more humanitarian and, supposedly, less horny." Read the full item.

Ted sez: "Boys will be boys, right? Uh-huh. Especially Hunky Harold. Hunk, who's irresistible to sexes of all kinds and ages, just never knows when to stop. He's always propositioning the wrong, uh, conquests. But I find it rather funny, really. Why?" Read the full item.

You say: Send guesses to tips@defamer.com. Well-reasoned conjecture and crackpot rants alike will be posted later today.