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Given the banality of Ted Casablanca's ass-play/drug-free blind item, we didn't expect that anyone would actually write in with their guesses—if our readers wanted to hear from bitchy spouses, they'd dig up the backyard—but you surprised us. We promise never to underestimate your thirst for blind items or Ted's purple, Geneva Convention violating prose again.

Ted sez: "You won't believe this one. I hardly did. Until it made sense. Stunning Steve is married to Jittery Jill. They're a cute couple, surely, but more than a few backstabbing Tinseltowners with a bad case of schadenfreude have wished this beautiful duo less than happiness." Read the item here.

You say: Your guesses after the jump.

You say: "Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt." You weren't unanimous, but it was close. As one reader put it, "She's well-known to be neurotic and easily upset, he's certainly stunning, and if there's any object of schadenfreude in h'wood with regards to celebrity coupledom, it's gotta be them." And a special Defamer thumbs-up to the reader who offered Tate Donovan as Jittery Jill's "old boy toy." That's the kind of thorough work that helps America maintain its status as the world leader in the blind item guessing industry.

You also say: "Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones," and "Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson." OK, if you say so. Not everyone can guess Jen and Brad.

We wished you'd said: "Tom Cruise and the Church of Scientology," if only because it's about time those sweet lovers started getting on each other's nerves.