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A reader finally breaks the deafening silence on the rumor that Britney Spears is rush-marrying Kevin "Ten More Babies You Don't Know About" Federline today, claiming that Britney's just getting pretend married for a video.

Britney is most certainly NOT getting married today. She is however shooting a music video that has scenes of her in a wild wedding dress. The shoot (started Wed and finish today) has been plagued by helicopters that circle the house/location in Hollywood looking for photos of what they THINK is a wedding. The song is a remake of Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative" and Brit shows she is her own woman by crashing her car into a pool and appearing in a old school stag film (no Paris style night-vision).

This sounds plausible, and Occam's Razor dictates that we accept it as the explanation. But can we suggest that Occam go fuck himself? We think that the perfect way to wrap a hard day of shooting an elaborate video of a remade Bobby Brown song is to hop on the PCH, get secretly hitched in a quickie ceremony in Santa Barbara, and then begin the thankless work of remaking Bobby Brown's lousy marriage.