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According to the AP, burglars broke into Paris and Nicky Hilton's home in the Hollywood Hills Wednesday and helped themselves to some of their fine, designer items. A source told US Weekly, bastion of celebrity criminal reporting, that the thieves made off with "a laptop computer, several designer purses, video tapes and photographs of Paris Hilton...with ex-boyfriend Nick Carter." That list sounds about one camcorder short of the "Official Paris Hilton Make Your Own Amateur Sex Video Kit," but maybe that was left behind. Everyone should immediately begin monitoring the internet for video evidence of Nick Carter's vaunted staying power, so ably publicized today in the NY Daily News.