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The bloodthirsty gossips at the Data Lounge are aflame with debate about accused Catherine Zeta Jones stalker Dawnette Knight. Is she the Beverly Hills "high class ho" with "college degrees" that "speaks three languages" and whose lawyer is secretly being paid for by Michael Douglas? Or is she a "Diamond Caliber Penthouse Panther skank HO" who's as "insane as Charles Manson"? Who knows, but the Data Lounge boards make for some truly great reading. We'll just have to trust the justice system to get to the bottom of the "high class ho" versus "skank ho" flap, once Knight wakes up from her nap and her trial continues.

The one undiscussed wrinkle: Even if we pretend that CZJ is as old as she says she is (35), Knight is still three years younger. In Hollywood, even the stalkers aren't age-appropriate. It's amazing that Douglas didn't break a hip opening the threat letters.