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How do you know when a publicist is lying? She's not flat on her back in an open casket. Page Six reports that Elektra star Jennifer Garner returned from the spoiled world of movie stars to the somewhat less spoiled world of TV stars and demanded a bigger, bling-ier trailer with a satellite dish on the Alias set. Naturally, her rep, Nicole King, issued a string of denials and explanations. Defamer translates and analyzes this latest instance of publicist-speak.

On the new trailer:
 Nicole says: "It's the same model she had last season, just the new version. The trailer company ordered it for her."
Translation: "The new trailer is twice as big, from an entirely different trailer company, and five crew guys got laid off to pay for the difference."
Analysis: The more elaborate yet mundane the explanation, the bigger the lie.

On the new satellite dish on top of the new trailer:
 Nicole says: "...she had the satellite dish last season."
Translation: "She had basic cable last season and is really fucking sick of watching panthers fuck on Discovery Channel. She needs her fifteen channels of HBO."
Analysis: Simple statement of fact to explain away relatively reasonable perk is probably a lie.

On Garner's love life:
 Nicole says: She denies Garner is dating Ben Affleck
Translation: Garner is dating Ben Affleck.
Analysis: Flat denial is certainly a lie.