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The AP picks up a telephone and calls Andy Dick's publicist to confirm that he's "dating" one of the contestants from The Assistant. We could have done that, but 1) that sounds a lot like "reporting" and 2) talking to publicists gives us gonorrhea. [Ed.note—OK, fucking publicists gives us gonorrhea, but let's not split hairs, they lie in bed too.]

Hey, Associated Press: We don't chase around politicians with a little steno pad and a hat that says "Scoop," so why don't you go right back to ignoring whatever's currently on the business end of Andy Dick's sex organ?