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Wherein we entreat you, the gossip-devouring reader, to divine the identity of this week's blind item subject in humpy, barely-coherent E! dirt-slinger Ted Casablanca's column. Today, One Sour-Balling Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "So, you really, really wanna be on United Broadcasting Nitwits' next reality offering? It's called Skits Stink, and the prime-time show is all about how un-fake wannabe actors can be when life gives them très toughie lemons: bitter." Read the item here.

You say: Send guesses to tips@defamer.com. Responses posted later today. Bask in the immediacy of our cyber-world!

UPDATE: Usually you flood us with guesses. This time? One guess and one person completely unable to make sense of Ted's prose. Consider this game DOA. Better luck next week!