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Wherein we invite you, the engaged reader, to take a stab at humpy E! gossip-gabber Ted Casablanca's weekly, barely-English blind item:

Ted sez:

Not that tired-ass homo sex again! Instead, we're goin' back to the psychedelic hooky-hokey scene—the ol' sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll drill...one more friggin' time. Ready? Bawdy Bree sure is. Ms. B.'s always up for a little fun, especially if it comes with too much blow, too much booze and too much bitchery. B2 has certainly been down bad-behavior lane before (after all, she didn't exactly grow up on Park Avenue—nearby the local KFC's more like it), but Bree's friends fear her latest breathless ventures may be permanent. [Read the rest of Ted's "One Mood-Altering Blind Vice" (on the bottom of the page).]

You say: Email guesses to tips@defamer.com.