A Tantastic Conspiracy: Theron's FakeBakeGate

TVgasm thinks it's unearthed a fake-bake scandal that goes all the way to the top of Tanazon Charlize Theron's awards-show career. Using an obsessive, potentially vision-impairing investigative technique that surely required large stretches of free time, TVgasm's experts think they've determined that the Oscar-winning Miss Theron is fake-tanning her way to a basted turkey sheen—a golden brown that is being willfully obscured by a complicit tint-correcting, Photoshop-happy media. Disturbing. But can we return the discourse to an appropriately lofty level and get back to obsessing about Lindsay Lohan's rack?