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Perhaps the only phrase in Hollywood more frequently repeated than "J-Lo engaged" is "Courtney Love in legal trouble." (OK, maybe "Tom Cruise sues over gay rumor" belongs on the list.) This time they're not fucking around—Love is charged with "assault with a deadly weapon" (a felony) for attacking a former manager's friend with a flashlight in April. There was also a potentially deadly bottle used in the alleged assault, but thankfully, no microphone, the deadliest instrument in her bludgeoning arsenal.