The Easiest Blind Item In The World, Unless You Are Deaf To Sarcasm

From today's Page Six: "WHICH pro basketball player, husband of a world-class beauty, is said to be having a torrid affair with a recently divorced actress? And when he's not with her, he's chasing other foxes . . ."
First, Defamer must express outrage at the notion that a pro basketball player, especially one from the fine city of Los Angeles, would ever compromise the sanctity of his union with some extramarital sexual contact. Especially on the verge of another championship riot. But let's take a look...pro basketball player...actress...foxes... There are actresses in Los Angeles. A "fox" is an animal. "Fox." And who on our local team has an animal name? That's right. Derek FISHer. Let's try a little harder to conceal your "blind item" next time, Page Six.