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Sam, the wildly annoying reality show contestant who got booted early on The Apprentice, is having ICM shop his book proposal. It's... actually kinda good, despite his obsession with the phrase "thinking outside the box." EXACTLY WHAT BOX ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, SAM?

There's a chapter devoted to the virtues of kissing ass (seriously), but best of all, early on Sam reveals his deep-seated OCD and germphobia right up front in a chapter called "Wash Your Hands," quoted inside.

Wash Your Hands

More often than not, I witness people departing the restroom without washing their hands. If I observe a potential client or partner pass the sink without stopping on the way out of the bathroom, they just lost the deal. Such extremism may sound like crazy talk, but I feel strongly that he who has dirty hands has major personal and professional shortcomings as well. Let the dirty handed folks do business with one another. I wash my hands of them.

There are so many unnecessary germs because people do not wash hands when departing the bathroom. I have made a habit of washing my hands before and after eating a meal. There is no substitute for cleanliness in all areas of life. And the time has come to celebrate germophobia. Do not touch doorknobs, exchange cash, fill the gas tank, or shake hands without a follow-up visit to the sink. Clean hands are the cornerstone of a successful personal and professional life.

If I visit a restaurant or other establishment and the bathroom does not have soap, I will never step foot in that place again. And if I discover the absence before eating the meal, I will promptly walk out never to return. If I m really fuming, I may even neglect to collect my guests on the way out. There are no second chances. No soap, no patronage.

A helpful list of when to wash hands:
After using the bathroom
Prior to leaving home
Upon returning home
Prior to eating a meal
After eating a meal
After shaking hands
After touching a door knob
After exchanging money for having purchased food
After filling the gas tank
Prior to placing groceries in the kitchen cabinets
Prior to going to bed
Upon awakening in the morning
After wiping away excess oil from the forehead or nose
After picking your nose
After sneezing
Prior to sex
After sex
After peeing in the woods (find a nearby stream for a quick rinse)
After picking up change dropped on the sidewalk
After lacing up shoes
After a game of cards
After departing a taxicab
After using the subway
Prior to reading this book

Sam s Tip for Thinking Outside the Box:
Wash your hands or stay the hell away from me.