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You've always wanted to explore New York but you worried about the smell, safety, sidewalk electrocutions, cost, and abundance of: hipsters, Jews, gays, gangs, assholes, plus every other offensive stereotype that's painted in large strokes through the media. Now you can experience a worry-free trip through town in the same way you used to slay dragons in your 4th grade book club. Choose Your Own Adventure - web interactive stylee. Just watch out for the subway and remember, it's like a *total* New York experience:

As you enter the subway station, you immediately detect that ungodly, essence-of-ass aroma that Aunt Ginny warned you about. Fortunately your brought your Department of Homeland Paranoia gas mask - and after putting it on and swiping your MetroCard, you descend into the station.

It's also an enlightening trip for those who live here and don't like leaving their apartment. [Choose Your Own New York]