Okay, for those of you who've been steeped in Britney and Bennifer too long, "Henry James" was like this really famous writer guy. You know — like Hemingway, or Gandhi. (Heh.)

Think of this as a 80-year-old gossip item: There's been deep mystery regarding an injury Henry James sustained to the testicles. Long balls-obsessed writer Jonathan Ames has commissioned an impressive (and very funny) piece of scholarship by Michael Wood to get to the bottom of it all: was James impotent, gay, nutty (no pun intended), or all three?
The Mystery of Henry James's Testicles [Jonathan Ames]