David O. Russell continues to work, Ralph Fiennes plays evil so well, Virginia Madsen: champion of ski jumpers! Eastbound & Down will pitch again, and crazy Brittany Murphy joins a crazy movie.

Today we have a secretly gay actor hooking up in airports, an actress on a crazy cheating-on-my-husband spree, and an actress who went desperately in search of vodka and came up victorious.

The genial Q TV host, Jian Ghomeshi, introduced Billy Bob as an "Oscar-winning screenwriter, actor, and director" when doing an interview with Thornton and his band The Boxmasters. And that ticked ol' Billy B. off something fierce.

What's so amazing that keeps us wannabe-stargazing? I mean, really. What is so amazing? This season is so bland and undercooked. And yet I keep trudging back, grumbling away week in, week out.

Tracy Morgan can't lose! The gonzo 30 Rock star makes bizarre TV appearances and doesn't get in trouble. We just laugh and love him more, and then the incident becomes a joke on 30.

Reality shows have always been cheap—wooden sets, woodener stars, bottom shelf booze—but now they're getting even cheaper. There's a recession on! One show is stooping to capitalize on the gloom. By firing people.

Today little men take on big roles, J.Lo finds her vampiric costar, Gore Vebinski takes a breather for himself, Leah Remini glows like moondust, and old people get it on in hilarious fashion.

Today we have a secretly bitchy nice girl, an actor/comic/TV host who thinks he's a big deal when he actually isn't, and an in-college actor who is partying all the time and sleeping with their professor.

Good news in dark times: You'll seen be able to take Nadya Suleman away from her 14 kids, on a date, to be filmed by reality show cameras and watched by a confused, frightened nation.

One might assume that months of teary, yelling, storming-out fights between Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson sated readers' appetites for details of the couple's drama. But it just made everyone hungrier for the big breakup.

Like a delicious dirty martini, history can be dry and salty. Boo. Who wants that? Nobody! The only difference between history and now is that history happened a long time ago.

Well, exit the Kings. NBC has moved its lush, sweeping, and increasingly good dramatic experiment from its valuable Sunday night slot to Saturdays, where it will play out its remaining eight episodes, then die. Sad.

If you're wondering why his character died on House last night, you now have your answer. Kal Penn (Harold and Kumar) asked to leave the show to take a new job with the Obama administration.

Well, here it is. It's back. The Hills swooped overhead last night—two episodes worth!—like some dark angel of the sparkly rapture. It's good to know your enemy, so let's analyze after the jump.

Longtime Variety editor Peter Bart was finally replaced last weekend—a move that we (and others) interpreted as Bart being, essentially, stripped of his power to make way for new blood. Not true, he says!

["Grey's Anatomy" actress Katherine Heigl taking a break from filming her new movie in France; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Why do you not publicly address last weekend's rumored pizza-related fistfight, Jimmy Fallon? What are you hiding? The smirking TV host has conveniently skirted the issue so far. But we have sources everywhere!

Lots of movies have been cast, as have some TV shows. People we like get work (Helo), and people we don't like get work (the Til' Death guys). Plus, the unstoppable Sabato.

Today we have a Grammy winning rapstress who lurves her some weed, a sordid on-set love triangle, and a young Hollywood couple that broke up and now has no chance of getting back together.

So who put Scarlett Johansson on that strict diet that reduced the starlet to a shadow of her former self? Gwyneth Paltrow, the noted medical expert who last year hallucinated from undereating.