At this point we're not even sure how she does it, but Lily Allen keeps getting cooler. This time it has to do with her extraneous nipple, which she happily whips out for the world to see. Almost NSFW! [Via WWTDD]

Our latest tour of fashionable New York (that is not New York) finds Richard Blakeley up at the 125th Street station, where he meets a data-entry clerk who tells you what's hot this summer. We're running out for a pair of those shades now.

Mark Cuban, the billionaire founder of Broadcast.com, never learned to shut up. (That's why the Mavericks owner has been fined over $1.6 mil by the NBA for 13 incidents.) So instead of humbly accepting that he made his money by offloading his ridiculously overpriced video streaming company to Yahoo, he still tries to defend Broadcast.com's business potential. Eight years ago, writes Cuban, cwhen the company IPO'd, "We had full length audio books, full length CDs, full length movies, TV shows...We had preroll commercials. We had inserted commercials. We even inserted video commercials into audio files and streams [Whaaa?]. And user generated content ? Yep...Companies or individuals could upload full videos with synchronized slideshows and we even allows hot spots in the videos. And of course we gave you realitime statistics of how many people were watching your video..." We get the point — they had all that YouTube has and more. Tiny little difference: YouTube works.

The Onion, America's Finest News Source, has an eerily prescient report on what would happen if the Internet were to suddenly disappear, including the devastating toll it would take on the blogging community. Says one LiveJournal user, after years of online documentation disappeared, "I feel like control-alt-deleting myself." Apparently, Nigeria's economy, balanced so carefully on the backs of 419 scams, would be the first casualty.

The euphoric, citywide buzz accompanying today's official welcoming of David Beckham, Los Angeles's newest tabloid superstar (who's expected to lead the league in magazine covers and gossip column inches, even though he's ostensibly in his declining scandal years), was dampened when embattled mayor Antonio Villaraigosa took to the podium and was showered with boos by an angry throng. Unfortunately, the video feed was cut off immediately after Villaraigosa handed the Galaxy star his framed Certificate of Pre-Recognition of Future Charitable Works, depriving us footage of the ensuing riot in which constituents stormed the dais, tossed the politician from the stage, and installed the wildly popular Beckham as our new mayor.

You know what's a fun game to play? Word association. Richard Blakeley and The Cajun Boy headed up to Broadway, where they engaged in extended sessions of the "I say/you say" activity with the cast of Curtains.

Juvenile? Lowbrow? Totally. Whatever, you heard the man, we're hungover today. So watch this clip from "Good Morning America" where some chef has Sam Champion toss his salad. The humor part comes in the fact that Sam is literally mixing vegetables, not sticking his tongue in some guy. It's sort of a double entendre? Okay, more Advil now!

The pitch was irresistible: "On the set of a movie that's filming, a guy gets sucked into a jet engine and actually dies!" As was body of the e-mail tease directing us to the footage Wednesday night: "This happened on set last night in sm- do you know which show/film?" No, we do not! How could such a grisly accident transpire and completely escape notice by the media? After the jump, the clip that we urge you not to watch if you are inclined to believe in the authenticity of videos that contain conveniently timed appearances of "static," cuts to black, and suspiciously combustible victims:

If you missed our saturation coverage of all things Facebook, here's a nice recap. CNBC's Melissa Francis quizzes yours truly on the scandal about "Valleyfreude," the IPO-promoting video by Facebook employee Randi Jayne, the sister of CEO Mark Zuckerberg: (Video by CNBC)

Williamsburg, nestled along the river in northern Brooklyn, has perhaps been New York's fastest-changing neighborhood in the last decade. Now subject to a massive waterfront rezoning, the homeland of hipsters is threatened with doom, just as it was when actual poor people lived there a couple of years ago. As part of our series of Users Guides, we've sent Joshua David Stein and Richard Blakeley to report from Bedford Avenue, the Champs-Élysées of New York City.

We hate that Miss New Jersey had to say that her goofy boob-biting Facebook photos were a "mistake," but everything else she told Matt Lauer on the "Today Show" just made us like her and want to be her friend. And the pictures made us like her too! Mmm, she's so bendy.

Last night I was on Red Eye and I was being really crazy the whole time. My metabolism still hasn't adjusted to doing yoga every day instead of smoking weed every day, so if I don't eat every four hours I become sort of unhinged? Long story short, the producers got mad. There was this, and then at another point they were trying to end a segment and I was just shouting "HELLO?! FEMINISM!" Anyway, speaking of feminism! This clip is from a segment about how John McCain is blaming the failure of his candidacy on his aides' insistence that he wear "gay sweaters." I called the famous former POW a "pussy," but they bleeped that word out with a meowing noise. I guess that's kind of funny, but when you consider that the other guest during my segment, comedian Donnell Rawlings, had literally no jokes besides "I am a black man and that means I have a big dick," it's also kind of enraging. HELLO?! FEMINISM!

With the possibility of a humiliating de-sashing looming, embattled blackmail victim Miss New Jersey bravely subjected herself to the incrementally less severe humiliation of appearing on The Today Show to discuss each and every one of the purloined Facebook photos her tormentor threatened to release, disempowering those who sought to terrorize her. What you will see will shock you. Unless, of course, you ever went to college. Or have ever been drunk. Or have even a vague awareness of the photographs that took down Miss Nevada—who, quite frankly, seems like a lot more fun than her counterpart from the Garden State.

This morning local ABC meteorologist Bill Evans popped up on "Good Morning America" to pimp his new novel, Category 7. Interviewed by Gawker Hero Sam Champion, Bill revealed that one of the main characters was, in fact, based on the lovable weatherman. We could care less about the weather or hurricanes or whatever—but there's Sam Champion slash fic in hardcover? We are running to the bookstore NOW.

Our country's talent pool, it seems, has been so thoroughly drained by the approximately three-dozen Idol-style competitions currently clogging network summer schedules that the best America's Got Talent can book is a man whose gift is to hurtle himself headlong through a pile of folding chairs.

Those of you who hate portly polemicist Michael Moore will enjoy this clip of the filmmaker from last night's "Larry King Live," where he is briefly rendered speechless by CNN's medical person Sanjay Gupta. We're not huge fans of the blustery Bolshevik, but we're going to have to agree with chesty media-watcher Rachel Sklar on this one: "Dr. Sanjay Gupta is a dick."

Usually we think of blustery big man Michael Moore as the Republican party's best weapon, but there's something about him going off on "The Situation Room'"s Wolf Blitzer that puts a happy feeling in our hearts.

Earlier today, we heard that the only people crying when Jane folded were the two interns who were being filmed for a show on the SoapNet channel. Too bad the impending fame of television couldn't save the magazine! (Didn't Teen Vogue's circulation jump after The Hills? Then again, SoapNet is hardly MTV.) Anyway! The Fashionista Diaries starts August 1, and if this preview is any indication, it's probably no surprise that Condé Nast execs weren't banking on the show for any circ increases. "Your jobs are going to require a lot of schlepping," former Jane editor Stephanie Trong says in her best Miranda Priestley imitation. Ooh, scary!

Perhaps the best leading indicator of an inevitable backlash is the creation of at least one hastily conceived mash-up trailer (a meme that never gets tired) for the still-shooting film, an appearance that heralds six more months of feeling like some viral marketing staffer from Paramount has planted a foot firmly on our windpipe, releasing it only long enough for us to wheeze out an affirmative answer to their repeated question, "Don't you see how fucking cool this is going to be? Come on, it's J.J. Abrams!"

Our jury is still out on Park Slope: Do we love or hate the expensive, brownstoney neighborhood that sprawls down westward from Prospect Park? As part of our User's Guide series, we sent Joshua David Stein and Richard Blakeley to deliver us the definitive report on Park Slope.